Monday, September 30, 2013

Fleetwood Mac

I have been in love with Fleetwood Mac for a very long time. It began in '96 on a family holiday to Cornwall where the Tango In The Night album was on constant replay on the car's cassette player. I don't remember much else about the holiday except being in the car listening to that album. Isn't that weird? I'm pretty sure I would have had a great time on the holiday, we always did on family holidays but the most distinctive memory is a rainy day driving around while my dad tried to find some famous dead person's grave. It might have been an author or some significant person from the war...I dunno.

So a lifelong love affair began that year, except I wasn't so sure of it as a kid. Yes, I loved the album but I thought it was the soundtrack to Terminator 2. I was convinced the song 'Seven Wonders' was a love story about The Terminator and Sarah Connor (See, even as a kid I was a shipper. I dealt with OTP before I knew what it meant). I don't think I discovered a complete love for Fleetwood Mac until a few years later when I found a greatest hits cassette in my dad's collection. THEN I was hooked.

As I grew older I listened to as many albums as I could (the days before youtube and spotify) from finding records/ cassettes in charity shops or car boots and then I read as much as I could about them. Granted, I am NOT an expert on Fleetwood Mac in the slightest, I am amazed by the knowledge some people have on them. When it comes to music for me it's instinctive, it's about how it makes me feel.

I missed Fleetwood Mac when they were in my city in 2009 so when I heard they were coming again in 2013 I was NOT GONNA MISS IT!!

I don't believe in religion except the one called rock n roll and every time I go to a concert it's like I'm in a church. I had a moment before they came on where I was so happy that so many cool people had come together for a band and all of them had a different connection to them. When the band did come out I had a tiny bit of an emotional moment, the tears came to my eyes and I was just so happy to be there.

I'm not like this with music usually. I'm not as emotionally invested in music as I am in film. Film is an obsession but music is a fleeting friend who I have coffee with once a week or sometimes less frequently. I love the friend but if they are out of my life for a while I don't freak out. However there are a few bands I'm strongly connected to and one is Fleetwood Mac. Hence the emotional reaction.

They are a band I wish I was a part of, they are the band I would love to write a review, film script, book about. They are the band I wish I was friends with. I mean Stevie is like my earth mother. You just look at her and she hypnotises you. Lindsey is a dreamboat, he's gorgeous and so incredibly talented, I wanna marry him.  Mick & John are like your uncles, Mick's the mad one and John's the one who gives you a couple of quid every so often.

Anyway back to the concert itself, they came onstage at 8:15 and didn't leave until 10:50. There was no support act or interval and the songs were non-stop. They kicked off with 'Second Hand News' (appropriate because the shirt I was wearing had those lyrics on) and 'The Chain' which got EVERYONE on their feet. I was actually really happy with the song choices, I can imagine some people may have been disappointed because the mac played a lot of their lesser known gems such as 'Not That Funny' & Stevie's haunting 'Sisters of the Moon'. They played 'Sara', the one song I NEEDED to hear and was so happy to hear live and then there was a gorgeous acoustic section of 'Big Love', 'Landslide' & 'Never Going Back Again'. Lindsey proved over and over how amazing he is and I cannot believe he is 63. 63!! He was running around like a 20 year old!!

Before I went to the concert I actually disliked 'Never Going Back Again', now I love it. The lyrics 'Been down one time, been down two times, never going back again' just hit me right in the chest. There were two encores, I was just gutted that Christine never showed up.

I read a review in my local newspaper that called Lindsey 'pompous' with the amount of guitar solos. However the crowd lapped it, we wanted to see him doing what he does best. Why do you think we pay money to see a band? There was also a lovely drum solo from Mick that made me want to adopt him and never have him leave my house.

So overall I loved it, I want to go back :(

Monday, July 8, 2013

Sometimes it is okay to lie

'So, what are you doing nowadays?'


Well, what do you say without spilling too much of the truth? Well, I lie. The people who ask me this question are usually strangers and/or people I knew at school and are most likely not going to see again. I don't usually like lying but in this instance I know it is okay.

'So, what are you doing nowadays?' I

a) Lie

b) Admit the truth and in doing so spill out my life story to someone I don't really want to know my life story?

I used to be the type of person who felt I had to tell someone EVERYTHING if they asked me, now I'm beginning to realise it is okay to hold back. I think it's picking the right moment or situation to be entirely truthful and picking the moment of when it's okay to tell a white lie.

I'm very truthful and honest about my battle with mental illness. I blogged a lot about it on my tumblr while I was going through my darkest days and I've just started writing a book about it. I talk openly with my friends and family and am enthusiastic in my support of mental health charities. HOWEVER when it comes to people asking ME about it then I close up. Nobody has the right to demand stories from me without my consent. It's the same when people ask me what I've been up to in the last few months/years. I lie. I lie because it's easier and I lie because I have chosen not to disclose certain information.

'So, what are you doing nowadays?'

I lie but it's a partial lie. I tell people I've just finished university. The truth is I quit uni a year ago but people assume I mean I graduated university and I just go along with the questions they then ask. Sometimes I am ashamed for lying as if I'm living in the past or creating a fictional future but I'm not. I'm lying because it avoids awkward questions.

Saturday, June 29, 2013

My Second Cara Box

Well this month there were only two of us in the lovely UK who had signed up to do the Cara Box exchange so I was paired with Rachael  and I was sending to her and she was sending to me. I enjoyed exchanging emails with her because it seemed we had a lot in common, the best being a shared love of the amazing Fleetwood Mac. We were both such busy bees but we finally got the parcels out to each other and I was really curious as to what I'd get in my box. I found the theme really hard again this month so I felt my box that I sent wasn't the best it could be but Rachael and I have been matched up for next month too so I'll make it up to her!!!

I love how we had both wrapped our items in brown paper! I really love brown paper because I feel lit makes the present look like it's from the war-time (I am a fan of all things vintage). Rachael had wrapped all the items so carefully (I personally am terrible at wrapping, it looks like a goldfish wrapped mine) and had attached a lovely little note to each item. She'd thought of all different kinds of festivals/fairs such as a beer festival and thought of different stalls you can get at a fair such as a craft was so imaginative! 

I started opening each item really carefully and I was so happy with each item. So much thought had been put into each gift and I was so grateful. She'd obviously listened to what I'd told her about myself.

I adored the cupcake cases with the pawprints and the edible cupcake toppers with 'I <3 Cats' on. They were so me! To be honest I'd stick them on my face every day if it was socially acceptable :P I also received a lovely bar of handmade lavender soap because in Kent where Rachael is from they have lavender festivals. I also received a lovely nail polish which was called 'carnival'.

Then I had a tub of gorgeous fairground rock which I must admit is half empty now because we've all been munching away on it because it's really yummy. A cute little duckie (which I thought was an excellent idea) because of the hook the duck stalls and I absolutely adored the beer glass with cute paper straws. I have to say I adored my Cara Box and I am very thankful for the time, effort and money put into it. So, thank you very, very much Rachael! <3 

I also have to thank you for starting the love affair between Mr Ducky and my cat Beau! 

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

My beautiful herb babies!

For once I decided I was going to be creative rather than destructive and I channeled that into deciding I was going to have babies. Okay, not actual human babies but herb babies!

I bought some seeds from my local shop and filled up a box that had previously held cosmetics in a gift I was given at Christmas. Don't you think it looks perfect to hold herb babies though? So I filled it up with compost and then added the seeds. It took a few days but then my herb babies started to show up!!

Oh my, they grow up so quickly. I've been watching over them lovingly and getting all excited when they grow and watering them. They now look like this...

As you can see the basil is growing really quickly but the coriander is taking a little longer to get going. No worries though, I am finally beginning to see some action.

It is so much fun seeing something grow. Go make some herb babies of your own! 

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Spending an afternoon eating free's a hard life.

My name is Laura and I'm addicted to cake. Making cake, eating cake, talking about cake....I love it all. About two months ago I went to a Cake & Bake show in Manchester with a few friends and I discovered a lovely thing called the Clandestine Cake Club

The Clandestine Cake Club is a wonderful idea where people from the same city meet in a location and share cakes they've baked themselves. There is a theme that changes monthly and the location is only revealed a few days before the meeting. The location also changes monthly and often is held in independent bakeries/restaurants. This month the theme was 'leave it out', whereby we had to exchange an ingredient we usually use in our baking for something unusual. I made a lemon & almond polenta cake, which substituted flour for polenta. I've never used polenta in baking before so it was an experience! Thankfully it turned out okay, a little crumbly but incredibly flavorsome (well it did have four lemon's worth of juice in it!!). The location was a local bakery in the city centre which gives formerly homeless people a chance for work experience and to help them get back on their feet. 

I took the photo before all the cakes had arrived so this is just a taster! Everyone was so imaginative and baked such great cakes. My favourites were a vegan toffee apple cake & a vegan carrot be honest though they were all yummy. Well apart from one but that was simply because I'm not a fan of coconut. I met a lot of lovely, friendly ladies (it was my first meeting) and I got to eat a lot of amazing cake! The way it worked was we set up the cakes and then everyone could dig in! There were in total 15 cakes and I completed the marathon of trying every single one. It was hard but I did it!! haha. Then we just sat and chatted. In a way I was really pleased I attended, for a few reasons. One, I'm really shy and have to force myself to do social things so going to this meeting was a huge challenge but I did it and I was so proud of myself. Two, I am not the best baker and I was wary of exposing my baking to people because I'm so overly critical. However I realised that it's just a bit of fun and I was exposed to lots of new recipes... Oh and eating cake...yeah that was pretty amazing. I also discovered a new bakery that bakes really cool cupcakes AND helps homeless people re-start their lives. So overall I had a great time!

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

My First Cara Box!

So I woke up a couple of days ago to find I'd received a package! I love receiving things in the mail, it's just so much fun! I have a penpal in Japan and we send each other a package every Christmas and I have friends in the US,  Europe & South America who I often exchange letters/cards with. So the idea of The Cara Box sounded right up my street. The Cara Box is a wonderful idea where you get matched up with two people, one person sends you a package and you send a package to the other person. Click Here to find out more or join next month's exchange!  I was matched up with Rebecca and Tara and we all began emailing each other and getting to know one another. I was sending a box to Tara and Rebecca was sending to me. The theme of the box was things from your region. 

When I got up to find my box I was so excited! 

Rebecca lives in London at the moment so all of my gifts were wrapped in tube maps, SUCH A GREAT IDEA. The moment I opened the box I was pretty sure I was going to love everything in it. I could tell a lot of thought and creativity had been put into it, even from just seeing the items wrapped so cutely and labeled with a little explanation on why she thought I'd like each gift.

Even my mum came to sit beside me while I opened each gift, it was like Christmas in May! I was so happy with each little gift because it was obvious Rebecca had really listened to what I'd told her in emails and she has such great taste! I adored everything that she sent.

I received a lovely notebook with pens (which Rebecca advised I use to help my blogging - great idea!), a London 2012 bookmark, a Cath Kidston mirror (which has gone straight into my handbag), cupcake cases and sugar decorations because I love baking and a bag of boiled sweets from a company who Rebecca had worked in the factory of - they are nearly gone! My brother and I LOVE them. Oh and finally three nail polishes which I adore, I painted my nails in the blue colour on the evening because it was so cool. I also received a lovely card of the London skyline. 

Overall I was so impressed with my Cara Box because I'd been matched with such a great person. So, thank you so much Rebecca! 

I was creating a box for Tara and I have to say it was so incredibly hard to find items associated with my city. Even though it's the second city of England, it's hard to find touristy type items and hardly anything is made in Birmingham anymore! However I tried my best and I hope she likes it.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

These are a few of my favourite films! Part 1

My favourite films are like my children, whenever anyone asks me what my favourite film is I can never answer them. It's like asking a mother what her favourite child is! When Nicolas Cage was asked in a recent interview he answered that it changes daily, and he's right. It changes daily, it falls into categories too. I cannot rank my favourite action films against my favourite dramas because I like them for different reasons and to pit them against each other is mean. I will not limit myself! There are films I love for my emotional connection to them, there are films I love for their aesthetics, there are films that blow me away with their scripts. I have got-to films for when I'm sad, when I need a laugh, films to share with others and films I LOVE but will never watch again. See! How on earth do you expect me to restrict it to just ONE film and why would you want to? 

However I am going to share a few of my favourite films I would state if someone put a gun to my cat and threatened to shoot her gorgeous being if I refused to answer. Like I mentioned, tomorrow it might be completely different but whatever. It can also be a collection of films I think are wonderful but definitely not an exhaustive list and they are in no particular order. 


I adore this film. I have a penchant for films with several female leads, their stories and interactions intrigue and fascinate me. This film is all female apart from one character who appears in flashback so it already ticked that box. I know it comes across as sexist but we so rarely in the film industry see STRONG and VARIED female characters that when they appear I get overexcited! Granted I adore male lead driven films too, Stand By Me has a very special place in my heart but female ensemble casts just...get me. The characters are all different and yet all written really well. The film is based on a play and describes the reunion of a James Dean fan club to honour the 20th anniversary of his death. Watching the film it is obvious it was a play beforehand because the director Robert Altman has kept a lot of the feel and intimacy of a play. It all pretty much happens in the 5&Dime shop with flashbacks between the present and not long after the death of James Dean as the fan club struggled to cope with the death of their hero. The cinematography is gorgeous and mirrors are used to wonderful effect throughout the film. In essence though it's a film based around a group of friends reuniting. It doesn't need set changes, flashy effects or weird camera shots because the characters are strong enough to move the action along. The cast is wonderful, it has three of my favourite actresses in Cher, Karen Black & Sandy Dennis. They are all strong, self assured actresses and could teach you a thing or two! You know when you daydream about being a famous actress and what roles you'd love to play? No? Just me? Oh okay, well I do that and I always think I'd love to play Sandy Dennis' character in the film. The film also has one of the most powerful endings I've ever seen. It's so simplistic yet incredibly effective. 


Again I love this film for many, many reasons. Maggie Gyllenhaal is one of my favourite actresses because you can tell she gives so much of herself in a role and I really admire the films she chooses to be involved in. Her performance in this film just won me over straight away, I class myself as a feminist and usually this film would be a film I would have a problem with considering its content but SHE made me overlook that and realise that every woman has the right to do what's best for her. (the last shot really drives this home) So the premise of the film is that of a young girl named Lee Holloway who becomes a secretary after a spell in a psychiatric hospital. She begins an unconventional relationship with her boss and it causes her and her boss to re access their lives and desires. The main hook of Secretary is how it deals with the tricky subjects of both mental illness and S&M. Usually films that tackle sexuality are gratuitous and are aiming to target the high school audience however what I like about Secretary is how it explores the idea that love has many different faces and how as a society we are so used to pigeonholing people. You may still leave the film  disagreeing with the idea of S&M but it's definitely opened your eyes. One of my favourite types of love stories are 'fucked up love stories' I rather eloquently call them. What I mean by that is I adore love stories that are not the corny ones written from a cardboard cut out of a rom com from the 90s. So Secretary fits my need for 'unusual yet lovely love stories'. 


I'm a HUGE fan of wrestling. I'm the girl that religiously watches it every week and goes to the shows whenever she can. It's a fun hobby I share with my two brothers and it's our weird form of family bonding! It's just so exciting keeping up with the wrestling world, it's like a soap opera with physical contact! I got insanely happy last night when a WWE referee replied to my tweet on twitter, I am that sad when it comes to wrestling. So this film is a must for wrestling fans (obviously) but you needn't be a wrestling fan to enjoy it. It tells the story of a wrestler who was at his height about fifteen years ago and yet he's still wrestling despite his battered body. The film means so much to me because this is the life many 80s/ early 90s wrestlers ended up living, guys like Jake Roberts ended up with no family, a crippled body and addiction problems. Mickey Rourke plays the role wonderfully, he breaks my heart completely as a wrestler who is so consumed by his passion he refuses to give up, even if it means losing out on love and a relationship with his daughter. The role was originally given to Nicolas Cage and MAN, I wish I could have seen that. As you will soon discover I have a huge obsession with Nicolas Cage but that's another blogpost. Yet as much as I'd love to see that I think Mickey does so well. The wrestling scenes are done incredibly well with the finale being filmed at a ROH set, and other real life wrestlers popping up here and there. 


This is an example of a film that took my breath away the first time I saw it. It reinforced the reason I love film so much, it's just so powerful. It's beautifully shot, the actors are perfect and it has one of my favourite scenes of all time within it. Harry Dean Stanton is the lead character who plays a man who is found wondering in the desert and his journey in reconnecting with his son and finding his wife. Harry is a great actor, he's not a name you'd recognise but you'd know his face for sure. He's a guy who always plays a supporting role but yet steals the show. Her however he plays the lead and does it so well. He's an actor who realises that sometimes less is more and despite holding back for the most time he still gives a great performance.


Barbra Streisand is one of my queens. One of the women who inspires me and whose music and films will always mean so much to me. When I'm at my lowest she always keeps me going. She inspires me as a female in the film making industry because she's one of the few famous female directors, she's had a successful film and music career for over 40 years and is a woman who stands up for herself. In this film she tackles a topic that has haunted her for years, beauty. She's always been haunted her looks, that's another reason why I feel so close to her. She struggles with how she looks, especially with her nose. I too have nose issues, I'm always being reminded I have a big nose and I now think 'so what? so does Barbra Streisand and she's ten times cooler than anyone who takes the piss out of me will ever be'. So I really respect her for tackling this role. The story tells of a lady who is conventionally beautiful (although to me she is always stunning) who enters a platonic marriage with a university lecturer (played by Jeff Bridges who is yummy) because he believes that a love based on sexual attraction will never last. Eventually in the good ole fashioned way they end up falling in love, sex and all and I start crying because it's all so beautiful. 

Stay tuned for Part 2! 

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

My X Files Obsession

I'n the type of girl who lives about three decades behind everyone else. I'm only just, in 2013 getting into The X Files. Granted when it first came out I was 3 so I couldn't have caught it when it was first onscreens but it's took me a while to realise the wonders of two FBI agents trying to figure out the weird things within the X Files. Now I've found it I am ridiculously in lust, love and all things in between. SO this blog post will most likely turn into a rambling of the many, many ways I love it.

First things first, look at them, LOOK AT THEM. Who wouldn't want to watch the simmering sexual tension between two gorgeous people as they whisper sweet nothings such as 'You're the only one I can trust' to each other? Yes I'm shallow but MAN it's been a long time since sexual tension has been written and consistently carried over seasons so well.

Second of all DANA SCULLY. Dana Scully is the type of character I want any future daughter of mine to watch and be inspired by. She's amazing. It's so nice to see a female character written so well, the only other person who does this so well is Joss Whedon. She's a doctor who now works for the FBI. She performs autopsies like nobody's business and doesn't take any crap. She's (SPOILER ALERT) battled cancer, the loss of her sister AND being abducted and I've only half way through season five. (SPOILERS OVER). It's refreshing seeing a female that is allowed to be intelligent, scientifically based and have her sexuality defined through other avenues. She is incredibly sexy but it's because she's so confident in who she is. She's not defined in relation to the male character. She's self assured, powerful and dedicated to her job. She is the ying to Mulder's yang. She's the logic to Mulder's crazy ideas. Sometimes it does come across that she's mre of a secondary character to Mulder but I don't think that's because she's female. I think that's because the X Files is Mulder's baby and his belief that 'the truth is out is there' is HIS belief. Well, she does believe the truth is out there too but her truth is completely different to his.

So, MULDER, the sexual god of the alien world. I never got why people found Mulder attractive until season 4 and then it just HIT me. It will get you eventually! He is charming and ridiculously dedicated to his 'cause'. It's nice to see someone who is really in love with their job and truly believes in something. When he's serious, it's scary. The conspiracy episodes how his serious, brooding sides so well while the other episodes also show his lighthearted nature. He always has a dry laugh to throw into some ridiculous situation. It's one of the reasons the show can get around having evil dolls killing people, it is incredibly serious when it needs to be and in others everything is done with a little tongue in cheek.

The show is so incredibly written it means you would believe anything. As each season progresses, the plots slowly get more ...ridiculous (for want of a better word) and yet you never consider stopping watching because it's so compelling. Even in the 'monster of the week' episodes I still cannot stop watching because the tension is built so wonderfully. Sometimes I do ask myself how Dana can still be so...pessimistic towards Mulder's theories when she's seen so much but then the wonderful balance that makes up the show wouldn't be able to carry on. Even when we finally think we have a hold on something another episode comes along and changes the direction. I also find it interesting how Dana faces both her faith (she wears a cross necklace) and her science compete/live side by side.

It also scares the fuck out of me. There's been two episodes in particular when it has really unnerved me. Usually when this happens I never watch the film/tv show but with the X Files of course I had to carry on watching.It's even got me reading books on aliens, ghosts and other unexplained phenomena. It gets hold of you and doesn't let go!!!

So run along and watch The X Files. Do it, NOW.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

I'm a Tom Waits baby

So, as you can see the name of my blog is 'Well My Angels May Leave Too' and I figured I'd explain it. There's a gorgeous Tom Waits song called 'Please Call Me Baby'.You may recognise it from the beginning of the Edward Norton film 'Keeping the Faith' (that film satisfies so many priest fantasies). If not, here's a video.
I love this song, it's just wonderful. I love Tom Waits, he is such a great singer and the lyrics just slay me. In this one particular song it has one of my favourite lyrics. 'If I exorcise my devils, well my angels may leave too.'

I just love this lyric, it means so much to me. It's about accepting the good with the bad and all that makes up who you are. We are all so flawed but it's about realising that's okay. There's a great quote by Sam Keen that goes

“Love isn't finding a perfect person. It's seeing an imperfect person perfectly.” 

We're all imperfect and despite striving for perfection, we'll never obtain it. We'll always find something else to worry about. It's just wasting time that we could spend on something worthwhile. I have to accept the things I hate because they make up the person that I am.

Friday, May 10, 2013

A Little Goes a Long Way

Today I received this email

and for once I actually decided to do something. I'm A HUGE supporter of  MIND because they had a huge part in getting my life back on track. They play an active role in society giving support to those most in need. In my city they provide 5 centres where 'service - users' can do groups including crafts, relaxation, cooking etc as a way of getting back into society and meeting people in the same circumstances. I'm also involved with the charities TimetoChange & Rethink and volunteer as a champion for both. They both work at raising awareness of mental health and reducing prejudice. It's the 21st century and yet people are still being discriminated against because of an illness. I've experienced it myself on many occasions and I'm sure many others have too. That's why I felt compelled to email my MP when I received the above email. Having FIVE HOURS in the Houses of Commons to discuss mental illness is AMAZING and IMPORTANT. I'm sure my one little email won't mean much but I needed to try. This is an important topic for me and it's great it's being discussed in Parliament but we NEED lots of MPs there. 
I'm not expecting a reply or expecting him to turn up but I want to make a declaration that every little counts. Every small thing is important and I would love if more people felt they had power.